Intercultural Couples Therapy in Cologne
When you lose connection –
finding your way back to each other across cultures
Intercultural
Couples Therapy in Cologne
When you lose connection –
finding your way back to each other across cultures
What happens when you lose connection with each other?
You love each other.
And yet sometimes you feel alone – even when you are sitting right next to each other.
You talk to each other, but still don’t feel understood. You argue about small things, even though underneath them lies something much deeper.
Perhaps it is about closeness.
Perhaps about feeling safe.
Perhaps about being understood.
What initially made you curious about each other can sometimes become a source of misunderstanding and conflict in everyday life.
Different languages, family histories, values and experiences shape how we see the world and how we relate to one another.
When two different worlds meet…
What feels completely natural to one of you may feel entirely unfamiliar to the other. What one experiences as closeness may feel restrictive to the other. What means safety to one may feel like control to the other.
And sometimes, behind a seemingly small conflict lies a much bigger question:
“Do you actually understand why this matters so much to me?”
This is where my work begins.
When cultural differences put a strain on your relationship
Constantly adapting
When you try to meet your partner’s, your family’s and different cultural expectations – and lose sight of your own needs in the process.
Not finding the right words
When you share a common language, but struggle to find the words when it comes to feelings, and important nuances get lost.
Not feeling truly understood
When you feel that your partner cannot fully understand parts of your background, your story or the cultural influences that have shaped you.
Caught between family and your relationship
When your family’s expectations conflict with your own ideas about partnership, roles or raising children.
No longer knowing what feels right
When different values and beliefs collide and you find yourself wondering what truly feels right for you – and for the life you are building together.
Cultural differences do not have to drive you apart. In couples therapy, we explore together what is happening between you, what lies beneath your conflicts and how you can find your way back into connection with each other.
I work with you either on my own or, if you prefer, together with my colleague Frank Wölfle – in Cologne, Leverkusen or online, in German, Russian or English.
“I do my thing, and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
And if by chance we find each other,
it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.”– Fritz Perls, “Gestalt Prayer”
How we work together
Our work together is not about deciding whose perspective or which culture is “right”.
We look at what happens between you: What patterns keep repeating? What lies behind blame, withdrawal or conflict? Which needs and hurts remain unexpressed?
In Gestalt therapy, we work with what emerges between you in the here and now. This can create space to truly understand each other again and reconnect.
German, Russian or English
Our sessions can take place in German, Russian or English. We can also move between languages – because sometimes it is easier to feel and express certain things in your own language.
Why this topic is particularly close to me
I moved to Germany myself and know what it is like to live between different cultural worlds – with different languages, values and ideas about what is simply taken for granted.
Today, I live with a partner from a different cultural background, and we are raising our son with three languages. In my own everyday life, I experience how differently we can understand and experience closeness, family and relationships.
My experience shapes my work with intercultural couples. Not because it means I already know what is right for you – but because I understand how much can be at play between two people when different life stories and cultural backgrounds come together.
Finding your way back to each other
The aim is not to eliminate your differences, but to understand each other better within those differences and find a way forward together without losing yourselves in the process.
If you would like to feel closer to each other again, we can get to know each other in an initial, no-obligation consultation.
As a Gestalt therapist and Psychotherapy Practitioner (Heilpraktikerin für Psychotherapie), I work with couples in Cologne, Leverkusen and online.
What my clients say about me
Individual Therapy
It has been a pleasure to work with Maria. I’ve felt supported not only by her empathy and presence but also by her hands-on approach to therapy. I really appreciate how responsive she is whenever I need to schedule an appointment. It gives me a strong sense of reliability and care.
What has been most helpful for me is the way Maria integrates theory with tools that I can actually use in my daily life. One area we’ve worked on is bodily awareness of my emotions, and I’ve found her guidance here to be very valuable. These sessions have helped me better understand and regulate what I’m feeling, which has had a direct impact on my overall well-being.
Working with Maria has brought me greater clarity, more emotional grounding, and a stronger connection between mind and body. I’m very grateful for our work together.
J.
Couples Therapy
It has been a pleasure to work with Maria. I’ve felt supported not only by her empathy and presence but also by her hands-on approach to therapy. I really appreciate how responsive she is whenever I need to schedule an appointment. It gives me a strong sense of reliability and care.
What has been most helpful for me is the way Maria integrates theory with tools that I can actually use in my daily life. One area we’ve worked on is bodily awareness of my emotions, and I’ve found her guidance here to be very valuable. These sessions have helped me better understand and regulate what I’m feeling, which has had a direct impact on my overall well-being.
Since our sessions, we understand ourselves and each other better. We have learnt to recognise what lies behind our reactions and to discuss difficult topics more calmly. Thank you, Maria, for your professionalism, your empathetic support and the warm atmosphere you create!
J., E.
Couples Therapy
Through one of the exercises, we learnt to truly listen to each other, practise patience and discover a deeper side of one another. Learning to respect each other’s individual pace was also an important experience for us. Through Maria’s guidance during our sessions, we learnt to give each other more space.
We became better able to navigate arguments and conflicts by expressing more clearly how we feel and what certain situations bring up in us. It was also important for us to understand that feelings do not need to be suppressed, but can be expressed clearly and respectfully. We became more aware of how important it is to recognise our own needs and communicate them clearly.
Maria encouraged us to share our experiences with each other and continually introduced new questions and perspectives that we found very enriching.
C., B.